Relationships are where we feel most alive, and sometimes most drained. Many people describe the pull of a partner, family member or friend in terms of energy: feeling lifted by some people, depleted by others, or still tied to someone long after a breakup. Energy healing practices such as Reiki, chakra work and loving-kindness meditation offer gentle ways to calm the body, open the heart and let go. On this page you’ll find what energy healing is, how people use it in relationships, simple practices to try at home, and how it fits alongside communication and boundaries. Pick what’s going on for you and we’ll show you where to start.
What’s going on for you?
For feeling drained.
- Step 1 · Ground
Feet on the floor
A few slow breaths, feeling your feet on the ground.
- Step 2 · Notice
Where you feel it
Notice where tension sits in your body, without judging it.
- Step 3 · Protect your energy
Set a boundary
Decide on one clear, kind limit.
Not quite right? See every method for energy healing and relationships
For letting go.
- Step 1 · Feel it
Let the feelings come
Give yourself a few quiet minutes with what you feel.
- Step 2 · Cord-cutting visualisation
Release the tie
A guided visualisation many people use to let go.
- Step 3 · Forgive
For your own peace
Forgiveness can help you move on.
Not quite right? See every method for energy healing and relationships
For opening your heart.
- Step 1 · Self-compassion
Start with you
Offer yourself the kindness you would offer a friend.
- Step 2 · Heart chakra
Heart-centred meditation
A meditation focused on the heart centre.
- Step 3 · Self-love
Daily practice
Small acts of care, every day.
Not quite right? See every method for energy healing and relationships
For a closer bond.
- Step 1 · Loving-kindness
Wish each other well
A short loving-kindness meditation together.
- Step 2 · Calm touch
Hand on heart, hug, massage
Warm, caring touch helps you both relax.
- Step 3 · Talk openly
Better communication
Share what you need, kindly and clearly.
Not quite right? See every method for energy healing and relationships
Every method for energy healing and relationships
Self-help practices
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Loving-kindness meditation
A few minutes of loving-kindness meditation increased feelings of social connection towards others, according to Hutcherson, Seppala and Gross.
Everyday practice
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Grounding breath
Slow breathing with your attention on your feet and the ground beneath you.
Everyday practice
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Cord-cutting visualisation
Imagining the ties to a past relationship gently releasing, to help you let go.
Everyday practice
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Caring touch
Positive physical contact from a partner was linked with lower cortisol and heart rate responses to stress, according to Ditzen and colleagues.
Everyday practice
Methods that pair well
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Energy Healing
Practices that work with the body’s subtle energy. Full guide
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Reiki
Gentle hands-on or hands-off energy healing. Full guide
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Chakra Healing
Balancing the body’s energy centres, including the heart chakra. Full guide
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ThetaHealing
A meditation technique for changing beliefs. Full guide
More methods with their own hub and guide
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Access Bars
Gentle touch on points on the head to help you relax. Full guide
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Meditation
Quiet minutes to settle the mind. Full guide
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The Emotion Code
A method for identifying and releasing emotional energy.
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Sound Healing
Sound and vibration for deep relaxation.
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Crystal Healing
Working with crystals as a focus for intention.
Expert guidance
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Energy healing practitioner
A trained Reiki or energy healing practitioner can guide sessions in person or at a distance.
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Couples counsellor
Support for communication, trust and connection.
Support option
Learn more
About energy healing and relationships
What it is, how it is used and what helps. Contents:
- What is energy healing?
- Energy in relationships
- Feeling drained by someone
- Grounding and protecting your energy
- Letting go: cord-cutting
- The heart chakra
- Loving-kindness meditation
- Reiki for you and your relationships
- Touch and connection
- Practices for couples
- After a breakup
- Family and friends
- Energy and boundaries
- A gentle 30-day plan
- How self-help methods fit in
- How the energy methods on this site apply to relationships
- What the research shows
- Teachers worth knowing
- Choosing a practitioner or class
- Independent information
- FAQs
What is energy healing?
Energy healing is an umbrella term for practices based on the idea that a subtle life energy flows through and around the body, and that balancing it can support physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. Names for this energy include qi in Chinese traditions and prana in Indian traditions.
Reiki is one of the best-known forms. The US National Institutes of Health describes it as “a complementary health approach in which practitioners place their hands lightly on or just above a person, with the goal of directing energy to help facilitate the person’s own healing response”, according to National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NIH). Other approaches include chakra healing, ThetaHealing, the Emotion Code and Access Bars. For an overview, see our energy healing guide, and for more relationship topics visit our Relationships hub.
Energy in relationships
Most of us know the feeling of leaving a conversation lighter, or heavier, than when we arrived. In energy healing, relationships are seen as an exchange of energy: warmth, attention and care flow between people, and so can tension, worry and conflict.
Whether you think of this literally or as a helpful way of describing emotions and body sensations, the practices are similar: noticing how you feel around others, calming your own system, and choosing what you give and receive.
Feeling drained by someone
Feeling drained after time with someone is very common. It may come from constant conflict, one-sided giving, or simply from taking on another person’s stress. Signs include tiredness after contact, tension in the body, or finding it hard to stop thinking about them.
A good first step is simply to notice the pattern. Who do you feel energised by, and who leaves you depleted? What happens in your body before, during and after you see them?
Grounding and protecting your energy
Grounding is a simple practice used across many energy healing traditions:
- Sit or stand with your feet flat on the floor.
- Take a few slow breaths, letting each out-breath be a little longer.
- Imagine roots growing from your feet into the earth.
- Picture a gentle light around you, letting kindness in and letting stress pass by.
Many people do this before a difficult conversation, or after a busy day with others. If you are sensitive to other people’s moods, our page on empath and HSP relationships has more ideas.
Letting go: cord-cutting
In energy healing, an “energetic cord” describes a lasting tie to another person, often after a breakup or a painful relationship. Cord-cutting is a visualisation used to release that tie with kindness.
- Sit quietly and picture the person in front of you.
- Notice where in your body you feel connected to them.
- Thank them for what the relationship taught you.
- Imagine the cord gently dissolving or being cut, and the energy returning to each of you.
- Finish by placing a hand on your heart and breathing slowly.
Cord-cutting pairs well with forgiveness and with our guide to heartbreak and breakups.
The heart chakra
In the chakra system, the heart chakra, or Anahata, sits at the centre of the chest and is associated with love, compassion and connection. Heart-centred meditations focus attention here, often with an image of green light and a feeling of warmth. Our heart chakra guide explains the practice in full.
Loving-kindness meditation
Loving-kindness meditation, or metta, is a practice of silently wishing yourself and others well, for example: “May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be at peace.”
It is one of the most researched heart-centred practices. In one study, just a few minutes of loving-kindness meditation increased feelings of social connection and positivity towards strangers, according to Hutcherson, Seppala and Gross. In another, people who practised it over several weeks experienced more positive emotions day to day, which in turn built resources such as social support and purpose in life, according to Fredrickson and colleagues.
You can start with yourself, then someone you love, then someone neutral, and, when you feel ready, someone you find difficult.
Reiki for you and your relationships
Reiki can be received from a practitioner or practised on yourself after training. A session usually takes place fully clothed, lying or sitting, while the practitioner rests their hands lightly on or just above the body, according to National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NIH).
A 2017 review of placebo-controlled studies reported that Reiki was more effective than placebo in most of the studies included, and described it as “a safe and gentle complementary therapy”, according to McManus. Many people use Reiki to relax and reset during difficult times in their relationships. Some couples also learn Reiki together and share sessions at home. See our Reiki guide and Reiki vs Access Bars vs ThetaHealing to compare approaches.
Touch and connection
Touch is one of the most direct ways we share comfort. In a study of couples, women who received positive physical contact from their partner, a neck and shoulder massage, before a stressful task had lower cortisol and heart rate responses than women who received verbal support alone, according to Ditzen and colleagues.
A hand on the heart, a long hug or a few minutes of gentle massage can become a simple daily ritual for connection.
Practices for couples
- Breathe together. Sit back to back or facing each other and slow your breathing together for a few minutes.
- Shared loving-kindness. Take turns silently wishing each other well.
- Hand on heart. Place a hand on each other’s heart and simply breathe.
- Check in. Ask, “How is your energy today?” and listen without fixing.
- Gentle touch. A short shoulder or hand massage at the end of the day.
After a breakup
After a breakup, energy healing practices can offer comfort and a sense of closure: grounding when emotions run high, cord-cutting to let go, and loving-kindness towards yourself. Our guides to heartbreak and breakups and self-love practices have more support.
Family and friends
The same practices work for family and friendships: grounding before family gatherings, loving-kindness for relatives you find difficult, and clear limits where needed. If you often put others first, our page on codependency recovery may help.
Energy and boundaries
In energy terms, boundaries protect what you give and receive. In practical terms, they are the limits you set on time, attention and behaviour. Both work together: calming your own energy makes it easier to state a limit clearly and kindly. See our guide to setting boundaries.
A gentle 30-day plan
- Week 1: two minutes of grounding breath each morning, and notice who lifts or drains your energy.
- Week 2: add a short loving-kindness meditation, starting with yourself.
- Week 3: try a cord-cutting visualisation for any relationship you are ready to release, and set one clear boundary.
- Week 4: share a calming practice with a partner, friend or family member, or book a Reiki session.
How self-help methods fit in
Energy healing and Reiki help you relax and reset. Chakra healing and heart chakra meditation focus on love and connection, ThetaHealing and the Emotion Code work with beliefs and emotions, and mindfulness in relationships helps you stay present together. You can see every method we cover in the full list above.
How the energy methods on this site apply to relationships
Energy healing covers many traditions, and each brings a slightly different lens to the way we connect with other people. Understanding what each one emphasises helps you pick a practice that suits the situation you are in.
Reiki, which comes from Japan, involves light touch or hands held just above the body. In a relationship setting, many people use self-Reiki to calm down before a difficult conversation, and some couples learn first-degree Reiki together so they can offer each other a few minutes of quiet, caring touch. Chakra healing uses the idea of energy centres along the spine; the heart chakra is associated with love and compassion and the throat chakra with honest expression, which gives people a simple map for reflecting on whether they find it harder to open up or to speak out.
Qi gong works with breath and slow movement to build a sense of steady, grounded energy, useful for anyone who absorbs other people’s moods. Ho’oponopono, a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation, is often used privately: you hold a person in mind and repeat “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you”. The Emotion Code and ThetaHealing focus on clearing old emotions or beliefs that practitioners believe can block love. Sound healing can be a gentle shared experience for couples who want to relax together without talking.
These practices sit comfortably alongside relationship skills such as listening and repair. The broader energy healing hub explains the background and principles in more depth.
What the research shows
Research on energy healing for relationships specifically is limited. The most relevant studies look at the practices that sit closest to it: loving-kindness meditation, mindful couples programmes, affectionate touch and Reiki.
| Study | What it looked at | What it found |
|---|---|---|
| Fredrickson and colleagues (2008), Journal of Personality and Social Psychology | A workplace trial of seven weeks of loving-kindness meditation | Participants felt more positive emotions day to day, which built resources such as social support and purpose |
| Hofmann and colleagues (2011), Clinical Psychology Review | A review of loving-kindness and compassion meditation | These practices increased positive emotion and reduced negative emotion, with promise for improving relationships |
| Carson and colleagues (2004), Behavior Therapy | An eight-week mindfulness programme for couples who were already fairly happy | Couples reported higher relationship satisfaction and closeness, and less stress |
| Ditzen and colleagues (2008), Psychosomatic Medicine | Daily diaries and saliva samples from couples over a week | On days with more physical affection, partners had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol |
| Joyce and Herbison (2015), Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews | A review of trials of Reiki for anxiety and depression | Found too few high-quality trials to draw firm conclusions, and called for larger studies |
Taken together, there is good support for compassion practices, mindful couples programmes and affectionate touch, all of which are part of how energy practices are used in relationships. The specific energy concepts behind Reiki and chakra work have not been tested in the same way, so many people treat them as a meaningful framework for reflection and care.
Teachers worth knowing
- Louise Hay linked self-love with healthier relationships and taught mirror work as a daily practice.
- Gabby Bernstein combines spiritual practices such as meditation and tapping with relationship advice in books like The Universe Has Your Back.
- Joe Vitale co-wrote Zero Limits, which introduced many readers to Ho’oponopono.
- Deepak Chopra writes about love as a spiritual practice in The Path to Love.
- John and Julie Gottman bring decades of research on what makes couples last, a useful practical partner to any energy practice.
Choosing a practitioner or class
- Ask about training. Reiki is usually taught in three levels; ask which level a practitioner holds and who trained them.
- Check the setting. A good practitioner explains what will happen, asks about touch and lets you stay clothed.
- Look for clear pricing. Prices should be stated up front, with no pressure to buy long packages.
- Notice claims. Be wary of anyone promising to fix a partner or bring someone back.
- Try a couples class. Some studios run Reiki or partner yoga sessions designed for two people.
Independent information
The World Health Organization has a programme on traditional, complementary and integrative medicine that covers how such practices are used worldwide. In the United States, the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NIH) summarises the research on Reiki in plain language.
Frequently asked questions
What is energy healing?
A group of practices, such as Reiki and chakra healing, based on the idea that balancing the body’s subtle energy supports wellbeing.
Can energy healing help relationships?
Many people use it to relax, let go of past relationships and open their hearts. Related practices such as loving-kindness meditation have been shown to increase feelings of social connection.
What is cord-cutting?
A visualisation used in energy healing to release a lasting emotional tie to another person, often after a breakup.
Which chakra is linked to relationships?
The heart chakra, or Anahata, at the centre of the chest, is associated with love, compassion and connection.
What is loving-kindness meditation?
A practice of silently wishing yourself and others well. Research links it with more positive emotions and greater social connection.
Can couples do Reiki together?
Yes. Some couples receive sessions together or learn Reiki and share self-practice at home.
How do I stop feeling drained by someone?
Notice the pattern, ground yourself with slow breathing, and set a clear, kind boundary.
Can I do energy healing on my partner without them knowing?
Most teachers advise asking first. Consent matters in any form of touch or healing, and a partner who chooses to take part is more likely to find it relaxing and connecting.
Is energy healing a replacement for couples therapy?
They do different jobs. Energy practices can help you feel calmer and more open, while couples therapy works directly on communication and conflict. Many people use both.
How do I learn Reiki with my partner?
Many Reiki teachers offer first-degree classes over a weekend, and some welcome couples. After the course you can give each other short sessions at home.
Which crystals are associated with love?
Rose quartz is the stone most often linked with love and the heart chakra, and green aventurine is another common choice. Crystals are used as reminders of an intention rather than as a proven treatment.
The best videos on energy healing and relationships
Hand-picked and checked one by one: Lisa Biagetti, The House of Wellness, The Mindful Movement, Dr Kristin Neff, Leeor Alexandra and the Gottman Institute.
Energy healing basics
Opening the heart
Letting go and connecting
Books on energy healing and relationships
Free resources
Experts to follow
Find a practitioner
If you would like to try a session, look for a practitioner trained with a recognised school, and ask about their training, experience and what a session involves. Our guide on how to find a qualified practitioner explains what to look for, and Reiki vs Access Bars vs ThetaHealing compares three popular approaches.
For help with communication or trust, a couples counsellor or relationship therapist can work alongside any self-help practice.
Books and sources
- National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NIH), Reiki
- McManus (2017), Reiki is better than placebo and has broad potential as a complementary health therapy, Journal of Evidence-Based Complementary & Alternative Medicine 22(4):1051-1057
- Hutcherson, Seppala and Gross (2008), Loving-kindness meditation increases social connectedness, Emotion 8(5):720-724
- Fredrickson et al. (2008), Open hearts build lives: positive emotions, induced through loving-kindness meditation, build consequential personal resources, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 95(5):1045-1062
- Ditzen et al. (2007), Effects of different kinds of couple interaction on cortisol and heart rate responses to stress in women, Psychoneuroendocrinology 32(5):565-574
Written by Saj Ali. Last updated 12 November 2026. Spotted an error? Tell us and we will fix it.