Loving someone who lives far away brings its own joys and challenges. There’s the excitement of reunions, the deep conversations, and the sense of choosing each other every day, alongside missing each other, time zones and goodbyes at the airport. Long-distance relationships can be just as happy and committed as those where couples live close by. On this page you’ll find what research says about long-distance love, practical ways to stay close, how to handle worries and reunions, and methods such as mindfulness and visualisation that many people use. Pick what’s going on for you and we’ll show you where to start.
What’s going on for you?
For missing your partner.
- Step 1 · Breathe
Slow, calm breathing
Let the feeling be there, gently.
- Step 2 · Reach out
A short message
Tell them you’re thinking of them.
- Step 3 · Plan something
Something to look forward to
A call, a gift or the next visit.
Not quite right? See every method for long distance relationships
For worries and insecurity.
- Step 1 · Understand attachment
Why we worry
Attachment and love explained.
- Step 2 · Share your feelings
Calm, honest talk
Say what you need.
- Step 3 · Ease jealousy
Build security
Gentle ways to feel steadier.
Not quite right? See every method for long distance relationships
For starting out.
- Step 1 · Learn what works
Making distance work
A clear guide.
- Step 2 · Agree your rhythm
Calls and visits
What suits you both.
- Step 3 · Set online norms
Digital etiquette
Kind habits for texting and calls.
Not quite right? See every method for long distance relationships
For your shared future.
- Step 1 · Share your vision
Talk about the future
Where and when you’d like to be together.
- Step 2 · Visualise it
Picture your life together
A hopeful, motivating practice.
- Step 3 · Stay present
Mindfulness
Enjoy today, not just the reunion.
Not quite right? See every method for long distance relationships
Every method for long distance relationships
Self-help practices
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Open, personal conversations
Long-distance couples tend to share more openly, which builds intimacy. [1]
Everyday practice
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Commitment and planning
Long-distance couples often report strong dedication to each other. [2]
Everyday practice
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Realistic reunions
Balancing a positive view of your partner with realistic expectations helps reunions go smoothly. [3]
Everyday practice
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Shared rituals
Regular calls, shared shows or meals over video help you feel part of each other’s days.
Everyday practice
Methods that pair well
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Mindfulness
Staying present and calm when you miss each other. Full guide
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Visualisation
Picturing your shared future to stay hopeful and motivated. Full guide
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Nonviolent Communication
Honest, kind conversations about needs and feelings. Full guide
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Meditation
Quiet minutes to settle worry and longing. Full guide
More methods with their own hub and guide
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Breathwork
Slow breathing to calm anxious moments. Full guide
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Law of Attraction
Focusing on what you want to create together. Full guide
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Relaxation
Releasing tension and stress. Full guide
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Inner Child Healing
Soothing older fears of abandonment. Full guide
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EFT Tapping
Tapping to ease strong emotions. Full guide
Expert guidance
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Couples counsellor
Online sessions for couples in different places.
Support option
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Individual therapist
Support with loneliness, worry or big decisions.
Support option
Learn more
About long distance relationships
What it is, why it happens and what helps. Contents:
- What is a long-distance relationship?
- What research says
- The hidden strengths of distance
- Staying connected
- Rituals and shared experiences
- Time zones and busy lives
- Trust and security
- Missing each other
- Making the most of visits
- Reunions and goodbyes
- Keeping your own life full
- Planning to close the distance
- Mindfulness for long-distance love
- Visualising your future together
- A gentle 30-day plan
- How self-help methods fit in
- FAQs
What is a long-distance relationship?
A long-distance relationship is one where partners live in different towns, countries or even continents, and can’t see each other in person as often as they’d like. Many couples spend some time apart because of study, work, military service, family needs or visas, and some meet online and live far apart from the start. With video calls, messaging and cheaper travel, staying close across distance is easier than ever. You can explore related topics in our Relationships hub, including digital relationship etiquette and improving communication.
What research says
Research on long-distance relationships is surprisingly encouraging. In a study of 870 people, those in long-distance relationships reported relationship quality that was as good as or better than geographically close couples, along with higher dedication. They were no more likely to break up over the following months. [2] Another study found that long-distance couples shared more openly with each other and tended to see each other’s behaviour more positively, which helped them feel close. [1] Distance doesn’t have to weaken love. Many couples say it deepens it.
The hidden strengths of distance
Long-distance couples often develop real strengths:
- Strong communication skills, because talking is central.
- Deep emotional intimacy built through conversation.
- Clear commitment, because staying together is an active choice.
- Appreciation for time together.
- Independence and a full life of their own.
The School of Life’s video on the advantages of long-distance relationships, in Videos, explores this beautifully.
Staying connected
Good communication is the heart of long-distance love. It isn’t about talking constantly. It’s about connecting in ways that feel good to both of you. Share the small details of your day as well as the big things, ask questions and listen with real interest. Mix up how you connect: video calls, voice notes, messages, letters and parcels all feel different. Agree a rhythm that suits both your lives, and be flexible when things get busy. The Gottman Institute’s video on keeping the spark alive across distance is in Videos, and our guide to intimacy and sexual connection has more ideas for feeling close.
Rituals and shared experiences
Shared rituals help you feel part of each other’s everyday lives. Couples enjoy things like:
- A good-morning or goodnight message or call.
- Watching the same film or series at the same time.
- Cooking the same meal and eating together over video.
- Playing online games or doing a quiz together.
- Reading the same book and discussing it.
- Sending handwritten letters or small surprises.
- A shared playlist or photo album.
Time zones and busy lives
Different time zones and schedules can make connecting tricky. A shared calendar showing both time zones helps, as does agreeing regular times that work for both of you. Short check-ins can be just as meaningful as long calls. Leaving voice notes or messages that your partner can enjoy when they wake up is a lovely way to bridge the gap.
Trust and security
When you can’t see each other every day, it’s natural to sometimes feel unsure or insecure. Trust grows through consistency: doing what you say, being open about your life and reassuring each other when needed. Talking calmly about worries, rather than letting them build up, helps a lot. Understanding your attachment style can explain why distance stirs up anxiety for some people. Anne Power’s TEDx talk on attachment is in Videos, and our guides to anxious and avoidant attachment and overcoming jealousy have helpful ideas.
Missing each other
Missing your partner is a sign of how much they mean to you. When the longing feels strong, try slow breathing, a walk, a call with a friend or writing your partner a letter. Keeping a few comforting reminders nearby, such as a photo, a piece of their clothing or a voice note, can help. If loneliness creeps in more generally, our guide to loneliness and making friends may help.
Making the most of visits
Visits are precious, so it helps to plan them well. Mix special outings with ordinary time together, such as cooking, food shopping or meeting each other’s friends, because everyday life together is part of what you’re building. Leave space to rest, and talk about expectations beforehand so you’re both on the same page.
Reunions and goodbyes
It’s natural to idealise a partner when you’re apart. Research found this is especially common in long-distance relationships. A positive view of your partner can be lovely, but very high expectations can make adjusting to time together harder. [3] Remembering that you are both real people with ordinary moods and habits makes reunions smoother. Goodbyes can be hard. Planning the next visit or call before you part, and having something comforting planned for afterwards, can soften them.
Keeping your own life full
A full, happy life of your own makes a long-distance relationship stronger. Spend time with friends, enjoy hobbies, look after your health and pursue your goals. You’ll have more to share with your partner, and you’ll feel less dependent on calls for your happiness.
Planning to close the distance
Many couples find that having a shared plan, even a rough one, makes distance easier. Talk about where you would like to live, when you might be together and what needs to happen first, such as finishing studies, finding work or arranging visas. Revisit the plan from time to time. Having a goal to work towards together can bring a lot of hope and closeness.
Mindfulness for long-distance love
Mindfulness helps you stay present rather than counting down the days or worrying about what might happen. It can help you enjoy calls fully, settle anxious thoughts and appreciate your own life between visits. Zen Mountain’s guided meditation for couples, in Videos, is something you can even do together over a video call. Loving-kindness meditation, also in Videos, is a lovely way to send warm wishes to your partner when you miss them.
Visualising your future together
Visualisation means picturing what you’d like in rich detail. Many couples enjoy imagining their future home, a shared morning routine or the moment they’ll finally live together. It can bring a sense of hope and motivation, and talking through your visions together can help you plan.
A gentle 30-day plan
Week 1: Rhythm. Agree how and when you’ll connect, and set up a shared calendar.
Week 2: Rituals. Try two new shared activities, such as a film night or cooking together over video.
Week 3: Openness. Share one worry and one hope with each other, kindly and calmly.
Week 4: Future. Talk about your plan to close the distance and picture it together.
How self-help methods fit in
Mindfulness and meditation help you stay calm and present. Visualisation keeps your shared future vivid and motivating, and Nonviolent Communication supports honest, kind conversations. Inner child healing can soothe older fears of being left. You can see every method we cover in the full list above.
Frequently asked questions
Can long-distance relationships work?
Yes. In one study, long-distance couples reported relationship quality as good as or better than close couples, and were no more likely to break up. [2]
How often should we talk?
There’s no right amount. Agree a rhythm that suits both your lives and be flexible.
Why do long-distance couples feel so close?
They tend to share more openly with each other, which builds intimacy. [1]
How do we handle reunions?
Keep expectations realistic and include ordinary time together. Very high expectations can make adjusting harder. [3]
How can we feel close across distance?
Shared rituals such as goodnight calls, film nights and cooking together over video help a lot.
How do I cope with missing my partner?
Slow breathing, writing to them, comforting reminders, time with friends and planning the next visit can all help.
Should we plan to close the distance?
Many couples find a shared plan, even a rough one, brings hope and makes distance easier.
The best videos on long distance relationships
Hand-picked and checked one by one: The School of Life, the Gottman Institute, Psychology with Dr Ana, TEDx, TED, Zen Mountain, The Mindful Movement and WiseMindBody.
Making distance work
Healthy, secure love
Meditations for connection
Books on long distance relationships
Free resources
Experts to follow
AuthorJay ShettyAuthor of 8 Rules of Love. See our expert page.AuthorMel RobbinsAuthor and podcaster on confidence and relationships. See our expert page.
Get help
If you would like extra support, many couples counsellors work online with partners in different places.
Find a therapist or counsellor
- US and Canada: Psychology Today (US) and (Canada) directories.
- UK: BACP therapist directory.
- Australia: APS Find a Psychologist, and Relationships Australia for couple and family services.
- Elsewhere, including Europe and India: ask your doctor or local health service for a referral, and check that anyone you see is registered or accredited where you live.
This hub is for information, not a substitute for medical or psychological care.
Sources
- Jiang and Hancock (2013), Absence makes the communication grow fonder: geographic separation, interpersonal media, and intimacy in dating relationships, Journal of Communication 63(3):556-577
- Kelmer et al. (2013), Relationship quality, commitment, and stability in long-distance relationships, Family Process 52(2):257-270
- Stafford and Merolla (2007), Idealization, reunions, and stability in long-distance dating relationships, Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 24(1):37-54
Written by Saj Ali. Last updated 3 November 2026. Spotted an error? Tell us and we will fix it.