Alain de Botton is a Swiss-born, British-based philosopher and author who writes about love, work, status and the search for a calmer, wiser life. He co-founded The School of Life, a global project dedicated to emotional education, and his books, from Essays in Love to A Therapeutic Journey, have brought philosophy into everyday conversation. [1]
Who is Alain de Botton?
Alain de Botton was born in Zürich, Switzerland, on 20 December 1969 and moved to England as a child. He was educated at the Dragon School and Harrow, then read history at Gonville and Caius College, Cambridge, where he graduated with a double starred first. He went on to an MPhil in philosophy at King’s College London and began a PhD at Harvard before leaving to write full time. [1]
His first book, Essays in Love (1993), a novel about falling in and out of love, sold around two million copies. He followed it with How Proust Can Change Your Life (1997) and The Consolations of Philosophy (2000), books that showed how the great thinkers can help with very ordinary troubles such as unpopularity, frustration and heartbreak. [1]
Later books turned the same gentle, curious lens on status, architecture, work, religion, the news and long-term love, and several became television series. In 2008 he co-founded The School of Life, and in 2009 Living Architecture, which commissions modern holiday homes in Britain. He was elected a Fellow of the Royal Society of Literature in 2011. [1]
Today his work centres on what he calls emotional education: the idea that the skills of self-knowledge, love, friendship and calm can be taught, just like any other subject. His recent book A Therapeutic Journey follows the arc of a mental health journey, from crisis to recovery. [2]
His approach in brief
- Use culture as therapy. Philosophy, literature and art are tools for living, not just objects of study.
- Know yourself. Understanding where our patterns come from, often childhood, is the start of change.
- Treat love as a skill. Lasting relationships rely on learnable skills more than on finding a perfect person.
- Be kind to the struggling self. Most of us are more fragile, and more forgivable, than we let on.
At a glance
Born: 20 December 1969, Zürich
Education: Cambridge, King’s College London
Work: author, philosopher, founder
Projects: The School of Life, Living Architecture
Website: alaindebotton.com
Good fit if
You enjoy thoughtful, warm writing, you want to understand your relationships and emotions more deeply, or you would like to use philosophy and art to feel calmer and less alone.
Our take
One of the most readable thinkers on how to live. Start with his talk on emotional education, then read The Course of Love or The Consolations of Philosophy.
The ideas of Alain de Botton
De Botton takes the big questions of philosophy and applies them to the everyday business of living. Tap a card to read more.
Emotional education
The School of Life, which de Botton co-founded in 2008, is built on a simple premise: schools teach us maths and history, but rarely how to understand our feelings, choose a partner, manage anger or find fulfilling work. The School of Life offers books, films, classes and therapy aimed at exactly those skills. [3]
Its YouTube channel has become one of the best-known sources of short, illustrated films on psychology and philosophy. A good place to begin is The Eight Rules of The School of Life, which sets out the project’s gentle outlook in a few minutes. You can pair this with our guides to self-esteem and mindfulness.
Love is a skill, not a feeling
A recurring theme in de Botton’s work is that our culture’s romantic story, where we meet the one, fall in love and live happily ever after, sets us up for disappointment. In The Course of Love he follows a couple, Rabih and Kirsten, past the wedding and into the real, ordinary work of a long relationship. [4]
His message is hopeful: love is less about finding a perfect person and more about learning skills such as patience, explaining our moods, forgiving, and being open to being taught by a partner. He also encourages each of us to understand our own patterns, many of which begin in childhood. For practical steps, see our guides to improving communication, anxious and avoidant attachment and conflict resolution.
The consolations of philosophy
In The Consolations of Philosophy (2000) de Botton pairs six great thinkers with six common troubles: Socrates on unpopularity, Epicurus on not having enough money, Seneca on frustration, Montaigne on inadequacy, Schopenhauer on a broken heart and Nietzsche on difficulties. The book was later made into a television series. [1]
The idea is that philosophy, read the right way, is practical comfort. Seneca, for example, suggests that much of our anger comes from expecting the world to run more smoothly than it does. If that idea appeals, our guides to anger and resentment and overthinking offer further tools.
Status anxiety
Status Anxiety (2004) looks at why so many of us worry about how others see us and whether we are succeeding. De Botton traces the causes, from rising expectations to the idea that we deserve our position, and the cures that thinkers, artists and religions have offered, such as philosophy, art, politics, Christianity and bohemia. [1]
His wider point, also made in his popular TED talk on a kinder, gentler philosophy of success, is that we should make sure our ideas of success are truly our own. [5] Our self-confidence and burnout guides follow on naturally.
Art as therapy
With art historian John Armstrong, de Botton wrote Art as Therapy (2013), which suggests that paintings, sculptures and photographs can help with very human needs: remembering what matters, finding hope, feeling less alone in sorrow and appreciating what we already have. [1]
He applied a similar idea to buildings in The Architecture of Happiness (2006), arguing that the places we live and work quietly shape our moods. Spending a few calm minutes with a picture you love is a small daily practice in the spirit of these books, and it pairs well with our meditation and relaxation guides.
A therapeutic journey
In A Therapeutic Journey de Botton follows the arc of a mental health crisis: the moment we realise we cannot cope, the acts of self-care or therapy that bring relief, and the days when we finally regain stability. It is written as both companionship in lonely moments and a practical guide to finding reasons for hope. [2]
The book reflects a theme that runs through his recent work: that it is normal to struggle, and that kindness towards ourselves is a strength. You may also find our guides to anxiety, depression and self-love practices helpful.
Videos with Alain de Botton
Hand-picked and checked one by one: his own talks, short School of Life films and long-form conversations.
Start here
Love and relationships
Short School of Life films
Long conversations
Articles about Alain de Botton
Alain de Botton’s books
De Botton has written more than 15 books, translated into many languages. These are the best places to start. [6]
Buy The Course of Love in your country: US · UK · Canada · Australia · India. Other titles include The Art of Travel, The Architecture of Happiness, A Week at the Airport, Religion for Atheists, How to Think More About Sex and The News: A User’s Manual. [6]
The School of Life and other resources
The School of Life’s books, films and online classes are available worldwide, including in the US, UK, Canada, Australia, Europe and India, with prices shown in your local currency on its site. [3]
What the Research Shows
De Botton writes as a philosopher rather than a scientist, but several of his central ideas sit well alongside psychological research.
- Love and early patterns. A classic study found that adults’ styles of romantic love mirrored the attachment styles first described in infants, supporting his view that our relationship patterns often begin in childhood. [7]
- Putting feelings into words. Research on expressive writing found that writing about emotional experiences was linked to better health and wellbeing, [8] and naming a feeling has been shown to calm the brain’s emotional response. [9] Both echo The School of Life’s emphasis on articulating our emotions.
- Seeing things differently. People who habitually reappraise situations, thinking again about what an event means, tend to experience more positive emotion and wellbeing. [10] This is close to his idea of philosophy as consolation.
- Kindness to ourselves. Self-compassion, treating yourself with the warmth you would show a friend, has been linked to healthier wellbeing. [11]
Frequently asked questions
Who is Alain de Botton?
A Swiss-born, British-based philosopher and author, born in Zürich in 1969, who writes about love, work, status and everyday life. He co-founded The School of Life in 2008.
What is The School of Life?
A global organisation co-founded by Alain de Botton in 2008, dedicated to emotional education through books, films, classes and therapy.
What is Alain de Botton’s best book?
Many readers start with The Course of Love for relationships or The Consolations of Philosophy for practical philosophy. Essays in Love, his first book, sold around two million copies.
What does Alain de Botton say about love?
That love is a skill more than a feeling. Lasting relationships rely on learnable habits such as patience, forgiveness and explaining our moods, rather than on finding a perfect person.
What is A Therapeutic Journey about?
It follows the arc of a mental health crisis, from the moment we cannot cope to self-care, therapy and recovery, offering companionship and reasons for hope.
Where did Alain de Botton study?
He read history at Gonville and Caius College, Cambridge, took an MPhil in philosophy at King’s College London and began a PhD at Harvard.
Has Alain de Botton given TED talks?
Yes. His TED talks include one on a kinder, gentler philosophy of success.
Sources
- Wikipedia: Alain de Botton
- Alain de Botton: A Therapeutic Journey
- The School of Life (official site)
- Alain de Botton: The Course of Love
- TED: Alain de Botton, speaker page
- AlainDeBotton.com (official site)
- Hazan and Shaver, Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 1987
- Pennebaker, Writing About Emotional Experiences as a Therapeutic Process, Psychological Science 1997
- Lieberman et al., Putting Feelings Into Words, Psychological Science 2007
- Gross and John, Individual differences in two emotion regulation processes, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 2003
- Neff, Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself, Self and Identity 2003
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