The Forty Rules of Love is a novel by Turkish-British author Elif Shafak, first published in Turkish in 2009 and in English in 2010. It weaves two stories together: a modern American woman, Ella Rubinstein, whose life changes when she reads a manuscript about the 13th-century poet Rumi and his mentor Shams of Tabriz, and the historical friendship between Rumi and Shams. Running through both are forty spiritual rules about love, written by Shafak and inspired by Sufi thought.
Last updated: 10 November 2026
Reading time: about 8 minutes
How we wrote this article: this article was written by Saj Ali. It summarises the novel and its themes from the book and its publisher’s description, with historical background on Rumi and Shams, without spoiling the ending, and every source is listed.
The Forty Rules of Love in brief
- The book. A novel by Elif Shafak; Turkish edition 2009, English edition 2010.
- The two stories. Ella Rubinstein in modern Massachusetts, and Rumi and Shams of Tabriz in 13th-century Konya.
- The rules. Forty short teachings on love, the self and the divine, voiced by Shams in the novel.
- Main themes. Love as a path to growth, inner change, letting go of judgement, and courage to change your life.
- Who it suits. Readers drawn to love, spirituality, Rumi and stories of transformation.
Contents
- About the Book
- The Story (Without Spoilers)
- Rumi and Shams: The History Behind the Novel
- The Main Themes of the Forty Rules
- Using the Book for Personal Growth
- What the Novel Says About Love
- Book Club Discussion Questions
- If You Enjoyed It
- Frequently Asked Questions
- Key Takeaways
- Explore More on Self Help Supermarket
- Sources
About the Book
Elif Shafak is one of Turkey’s most widely read novelists and writes in both Turkish and English. The Forty Rules of Love was first published in Turkish as Aşk (“Love”) in 2009 and became a major bestseller in Turkey. The English edition followed in 2010 and has since been read around the world.
Penguin describes the story this way: Ella Rubinstein has a husband, three teenage children and a pleasant home, yet there is an emptiness at the heart of her life. When she reads a manuscript about the 13th-century Sufi poet Rumi and his mentor Shams of Tabriz, and his forty rules of life and love, she is ready to look at her life anew (Penguin).
The Story (Without Spoilers)
The novel moves between two timelines.
The modern story. Ella, a 40-year-old wife and mother living in Northampton, Massachusetts, takes a job reading manuscripts for a literary agent. Her first assignment is a novel called Sweet Blasphemy by a writer named Aziz Z. Zahara. As she reads it and begins writing to its author, she starts to question her settled but loveless marriage and what she really wants.
The historical story. Sweet Blasphemy tells of the wandering dervish Shams of Tabriz, who arrives in Konya, in present-day Turkey, and forms a deep spiritual friendship with Rumi, then a respected preacher and scholar. Their bond transforms Rumi into the poet of love the world knows today, and unsettles those around them. The chapters are told by many voices, including Rumi’s family, his students, a beggar, a drunk, a young woman seeking a new life and a zealot.
The two stories mirror each other: in both, an unexpected relationship shakes someone out of a comfortable life and asks what love really is.
Rumi and Shams: The History Behind the Novel
Jalal al-Din Rumi (1207–1273) was a Persian-language poet, scholar and Sufi teacher who lived most of his life in Konya. In 1244 he met the wandering mystic Shams of Tabriz. Their intense friendship lasted only a few years before Shams disappeared, around 1248, but it changed Rumi profoundly. Rumi went on to write a large collection of lyric poems named after Shams, the Divan-e Shams-e Tabrizi, and his long spiritual poem, the Masnavi.
Historians know relatively little about Shams beyond what appears in later sources, which leaves room for fiction. Shafak’s novel imagines the people and conversations around this friendship. The forty rules are her own literary creation, inspired by Sufi ideas, rather than a historical list. For a scholarly introduction to Rumi’s life and legacy, Franklin Lewis’s Rumi: Past and Present, East and West is a standard reference.
The Main Themes of the Forty Rules
Rather than reproduce the rules, which belong to the novel, here are the main themes they explore, in our own words.
| Theme | What the rules suggest | Everyday reflection |
|---|---|---|
| How we see the divine reflects how we see ourselves | Fear and blame in our view of God or life often mirror fear and blame inside us | What story do I tell about life, and what does it say about me? |
| Love as a path of growth | Seeking love changes and matures us | How have my relationships helped me grow? |
| The heart over the head | Some truths are reached through the heart, not only the intellect | Where am I overthinking something I already feel? |
| Letting go of judgement | Judging others closes the heart | Whom am I quick to judge, and why? |
| Patience and trust | Change unfolds in its own time | What am I trying to force? |
| The present moment | Life is lived now, not in regret or worry | What would change if I were fully here today? |
| Unity and compassion | Every person is connected to every other | How can I treat a stranger with more kindness? |
| Courage to change | Real transformation can mean leaving the familiar | What would I do if I were less afraid? |
These themes echo wider Sufi poetry and teaching, and they resonate with readers of many faiths and none.
Using the Book for Personal Growth
Many readers treat the forty rules as daily reflections. Try this simple practice:
- Read one rule each morning from the novel.
- Write one sentence about what it means to you today.
- Choose one action that puts it into practice, such as listening without judging, or saying something kind.
- Reflect at night in a journal: what changed?
The book’s themes also connect with practices on our site: self-love, forgiveness in relationships, letting go of the past, mindfulness and inner peace and spiritual growth.
What the Novel Says About Love
The Forty Rules of Love is not a simple romance. It explores several kinds of love at once: spiritual love for the divine, deep friendship between teacher and student, romantic love, love within families, and love for oneself. Ella’s journey asks whether a comfortable life without love is enough. Rumi’s journey asks what it costs to open the heart fully.
For readers thinking about their own relationships, the book can prompt questions about soulmates and life partners, the difference between security and aliveness, and how relationships can help us become who we really are. Our compatibility quiz is a gentle place to start reflecting on your own relationship.
Book Club Discussion Questions
- Which of the forty rules stayed with you most, and why?
- How does Ella change between the start and end of the novel?
- Why do you think Shafak tells the historical story through so many voices?
- How do the two timelines mirror each other?
- What does the novel suggest about the difference between religion and spirituality?
- Is Shams a disruptive force or a liberating one, or both?
- What does the book say about judging others?
- Has the novel changed how you think about love?
If You Enjoyed It
Readers often go on to Rumi’s poetry in translation, Shafak’s other novels such as The Island of Missing Trees and Ten Minutes 38 Seconds in This Strange World, and books on spiritual love and presence. For more ideas, see our list of the best self-help books, and our pages on Eckhart Tolle and Michael Singer, whose teachings on the present moment and letting go share some of the novel’s spirit.
Frequently Asked Questions
Who wrote The Forty Rules of Love?
Elif Shafak, a Turkish-British novelist. It was published in Turkish in 2009 and in English in 2010.
What is The Forty Rules of Love about?
It follows Ella Rubinstein, a Massachusetts housewife who reads a novel about Rumi and Shams of Tabriz, alongside the historical story of their friendship in 13th-century Konya.
Are the forty rules real Sufi teachings?
They are Shafak’s own literary creation, inspired by Sufi ideas and Rumi’s world, rather than a historical list by Shams.
Who was Shams of Tabriz?
A wandering mystic who met Rumi in Konya in 1244 and became his close spiritual companion before disappearing a few years later.
Who was Rumi?
Jalal al-Din Rumi (1207–1273), a Persian-language poet, scholar and Sufi teacher whose poems on love are read worldwide.
Is The Forty Rules of Love a romance?
It includes romance, but it is mainly about spiritual love, friendship and self-discovery.
How can I use the book for personal growth?
Read one rule a day, reflect on what it means to you, and choose one small action to put it into practice.
What should I read after The Forty Rules of Love?
Rumi’s poetry in translation, Shafak’s other novels, and books on presence and spiritual growth.
Key Takeaways
- The Forty Rules of Love is a novel by Elif Shafak (2009 Turkish, 2010 English).
- It mirrors a modern woman’s awakening with Rumi’s transforming friendship with Shams of Tabriz.
- The forty rules are Shafak’s literary creation inspired by Sufi thought.
- Themes include love as growth, letting go of judgement, patience, presence and courage to change.
- Many readers use the rules as daily reflections.
- The book connects naturally with self-love, forgiveness and spiritual growth practices.
Explore More on Self Help Supermarket
Use these pages alongside this one:
- Inner Peace and Spiritual Growth – the spiritual path
- Self-Love Practices – love that starts within
- Soulmates vs Life Partners – different kinds of love
- Forgiveness in Relationships – letting go of judgement
- Best Self-Help Books – more reading
- Mindfulness – living in the present
- The Bible and Personal Development – verses for growth and purpose
- Browse all self-help techniques – compare every method on Self Help Supermarket.
Sources
- Shafak, E. (2010). The Forty Rules of Love. London: Viking (first published in Turkish as Aşk, 2009).
- Penguin. The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak. https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/177356/the-forty-rules-of-love-by-shafak-elif/9780241972939
- Lewis, F. D. (2000). Rumi: Past and Present, East and West: The Life, Teachings and Poetry of Jalal al-Din Rumi. Oxford: Oneworld.
Self Help Supermarket guides are for general information and are not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice.
