Dr Wayne W. Dyer (1940–2015) was an American author and speaker in self-development and spiritual growth, affectionately called the “father of motivation” by his fans. [1] Over four decades he wrote more than 40 books, including 21 New York Times bestsellers. [1]
Who is Wayne Dyer?
Wayne was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, and spent part of his childhood in orphanages and foster homes. [1] He earned a doctorate in educational counselling from Wayne State University and became an associate professor at St. John’s University in New York. [1]
Through his teaching and clinical work, he “discovered a widespread need for the principles of self-discovery and personal growth,” and set out to bring them to a wider audience. [1] His first book for general readers, Your Erroneous Zones, came out in 1976, became an international bestseller and launched his career. [1]
After a string of practical psychology books, he felt a shift that led him to explore the spiritual side of life. “My purpose is to help people look at themselves and begin to shift their concepts,” he said. [1] He starred in 10 public television specials, built around books such as The Power of Intention, Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life, Excuses Begone! and Wishes Fulfilled. [1]
In 2005 he spent a year studying and living by the 81 verses of the Tao Te Ching, a book given to him by his friend Stuart Wilde. [2] He wrote from his home in Maui and died in 2015. [1] His main message, his website says, was that “every person has the potential to live an extraordinary life.” [1]
His approach in brief
- Forgive. Be kind instead of right.
- Find the gap. Rest in the silence between thoughts.
- Simplify. Keep your free time free.
- Live the Tao. Let go and be like water.
At a glance
Known for: The father of motivation
Topics: Forgiveness, intention, meditation, the Tao
Format: Books, PBS specials, lectures
Books: Your Erroneous Zones, The Power of Intention, Change Your Thoughts
YouTube: Hay House
Good fit if
You’re holding on to an old hurt, you want a calmer mind, or you’re drawn to spiritual ideas and Eastern wisdom explained simply.
Our take
A warm, wise teacher on forgiveness, inner peace and living with purpose. Start with chapter one of The Power of Intention.
Wayne Dyer’s key teachings
These ideas come from his books and official writing, explained in his own words. Tap a card to read more.
15 steps to forgive
“Forgiving others is essential for spiritual growth,” Wayne wrote. A past hurt, “while painful, is now nothing more that a thought or feeling that you carry around.” [3] His 15 steps include: [3]
- Move on to the next act. Life is a play; some characters have short roles.
- Don’t go to sleep angry. End the day on how you want to see yourself.
- Switch from blaming others to understanding yourself.
- Take responsibility for your part.
- Let go of resentments.
- Don’t live in the past. Be present.
- Refrain from judgement and simply observe.
- Send love.
“If you could release them,” he said of resentful thoughts, “you would know more peace.” [3]
Kind instead of right
One of Wayne’s best-known lines is to be kind instead of right. He quoted a Chinese proverb: “If you’re going to pursue revenge, you’d better dig two graves,” which he read as “your resentments will destroy you.” [3]
He also urged people to “stop looking for occasions to be offended.” A news report, a rude stranger or “a black cloud” will do, he noted, “if you’re looking for an occasion to be offended.” Instead, “become a person who refuses to be offended.” [3]
When upset by others, he suggested telling yourself “that no one has the power to make you uneasy without your consent.” [3]
Getting in the Gap
Wayne’s approach to meditation centres on “the gap between our thoughts.” Usually, he observed, “we stay on one thought until another one takes over, leaving very little unused space.” [4] His four habits are: [4]
- Observe the silence between the notes. “It’s the silence between the notes that makes the music.”
- Think of thoughts as things, which need space between them, like bricks need mortar.
- Observe your thoughts, but don’t describe them.
- Dissolve your boundaries.
“In the silence between our thoughts,” he wrote, “we find the possibilities of creative genius and spiritual awareness.” [4]
Keep your free time free
In Living an Inspired Life, Wayne offered a 12-step programme to simplicity, because “we need to eliminate the ego clutter that accumulates all too easily.” [5] His tools include: [5]
- Unclutter your life. “If you haven’t worn it in the past year or two, recycle it for others to use.”
- Clear your calendar of unnecessary obligations, and “practice saying no to excessive demands.”
- Be sure to keep your free time free. Decline invitations that don’t inspire you.
- Take time for meditation and yoga.
A simple life, he said, doesn’t mean doing nothing, but making joy, love and peace a priority. [5]
Be like water
In May 2005, after rereading the Tao Te Ching, Wayne decided to spend “an entire year—my 65th year—reading, researching, and meditating on Lao-tzu’s messages.” [2] He even asked his assistant to clear out his office, saying he was “letting go of all my attachments.” [2] The result was Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life. [2]
One Tao image runs through his forgiveness steps: “Learn to Let Go and Be Like Water.” Rather than trying to dominate, he suggested you “keep this image of yourself as gently coursing water, and watch how your relationships change.” [3]
Dreams and habits
“One of the huge imbalances in life,” Wayne wrote in Being in Balance, “is the disparity between your daily existence, with its routines and habits, and the dream you have deep within yourself.” [6]
He drew on James Allen: “Dreams are the seedlings of realities.” Within each of us, Wayne said, is “an unlimited capacity for creation.” [6]
He also quoted Ernest Holmes: “True imagination is not fanciful daydreaming, it is fire from heaven.” The invitation is to bring your daily habits into line with that inner dream. [6]
Videos with Wayne Dyer
Hand-picked from Hay House’s official channel, and checked one by one: intention, excuses, forgiveness and the Tao.
Start here
Intention and change
Forgiveness and peace
Spiritual teachings
Articles about Wayne Dyer
Wayne Dyer’s books
Wayne wrote more than 40 books; these are good places to start.
Find his books in your country: US · UK · Canada · Australia · India.
Where to learn from him
Wayne’s official website, run by Hay House, has free articles on his blog, and Hay House shares his talks on YouTube. [1]
His books are available worldwide, including the US, UK, Canada, Australia, Europe and India.
What the Research Shows
Two themes in Wayne’s work, a busy, wandering mind and choosing how you respond to upsetting events, have been studied by psychologists.
- Being present. People were happier in the moments when their attention was on what they were doing. [7]
- Reframing. People who habitually reframe how they see a situation tend to feel more positive emotion and report better wellbeing. [8]
Frequently asked questions
Who was Wayne Dyer?
An American author and speaker in self-development and spiritual growth, called the “father of motivation.”
What was his first book?
Your Erroneous Zones, published in 1976.
How many books did he write?
More than 40, including 21 New York Times bestsellers.
What did he teach about forgiveness?
Fifteen steps, including moving on to the next act, being kind instead of right, and sending love.
What is Getting in the Gap?
His meditation approach: resting in the silence between your thoughts.
What is Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life?
His book on the Tao Te Ching, written after a year living its 81 verses.
Where should I start?
Chapter one of The Power of Intention on Hay House’s YouTube channel, then his 15 steps to forgiveness.
Sources
- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer: About Dr. Wayne Dyer
- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer: How I Discovered the Wisdom of the Tao
- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer: How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You, In 15 Steps
- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer: 4 Powerful Habits to Clear Your Mind During Meditation
- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer: Wayne Dyer's 12-Step Program to Simplicity
- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer: How to Create Life Balance Between Dreams and Habits
- Killingsworth and Gilbert, A Wandering Mind Is an Unhappy Mind, Science 2010
- Gross and John, Individual Differences in Two Emotion Regulation Processes, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 2003
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