Scott Kiloby is an American non-duality teacher, international speaker and the author of seven books on spiritual awakening. [1] He is known for a simple message, “Rest. Inquire. Enjoy Life.”, for the Unfindable Inquiry and the Living Inquiries, and today for the Kiloby Inquiries (K.I.), a method of somatic self-inquiry he co-founded with Dan McLintock. [2] [1]
Who is Scott Kiloby?
Scott Kiloby grew up in a middle-class family in the American Midwest. His father ran a hardware store and his mother had various businesses. He told Iain McNay of Conscious TV that his childhood was fairly happy, but that as he grew up he felt a growing sense of alienation, partly from being gay in the Midwest at that time. [3]
He has spoken openly about his own long recovery from addiction, which ended in his thirties. [3] [2] Once that chapter closed, he says, he went on “a mad search” through religions, therapies and positive-thinking strategies, and “instantly” saw the wisdom of non-duality when he first read about it. [2] He read teachers such as Adyashanti, Krishnamurti and Byron Katie. [3]
Before teaching full time he had a varied working life. He played in bands as a musician, went to law school and worked as an attorney. [3] He describes an awakening experience in 2007, and in 2008 he developed the Unfindable Inquiry through long conversations with the teacher Greg Goode, whom he calls “one of my greatest teachers.” [2]
He then trained others to facilitate the inquiry, and with that team he developed the wider Living Inquiries. By 2017 the facilitator training programme included around 100 facilitators in 12 countries. [2] He also co-founded the Kiloby Center for Recovery in Rancho Mirage, California, which brought mindfulness and non-dual awareness into a recovery setting. [2] [1]
His books include Love’s Quiet Revolution, Reflections of the One Life, Living Realization and The Unfindable Inquiry. [2] [4] His teaching has kept evolving. Today his website centres on the Kiloby Inquiries, and his latest book, written with Toshi Matsunaga, is Awake But Sick, which questions what he calls the myth of immediate freedom in spiritual seeking. [1] [5]
His teaching in brief
- Rest. Rest as awareness and let thoughts, feelings and sensations come and go.
- Inquire. Look directly at the thoughts and feelings that seem to define you.
- Feel. Let emotions and body sensations be exactly as they are.
- Enjoy life. Spirituality should leave you freer to enjoy everyday life.
At a glance
Known for: Rest, Inquire, Enjoy Life; the Unfindable Inquiry; Kiloby Inquiries
Topics: Non-duality, self-inquiry, awareness, emotions and the body
Influences: Greg Goode, Adyashanti, Byron Katie
Books: Living Realization, The Unfindable Inquiry
Watch: His YouTube channel
Good fit if
You are drawn to non-duality and self-inquiry, and you want a teacher who brings feelings and the body into the picture as well as awareness.
Our take
A candid, practical teacher who has kept refining his own approach. His current Kiloby Inquiries add a strong focus on feeling emotions in the body. His free videos are a good place to start.
Scott Kiloby’s key teachings
These come from his own website, his New Harbinger Q&A and his interviews. Tap a card to read more.
Rest. Inquire. Enjoy Life.
Asked about the message on his website, Scott said “Rest. Inquire. Enjoy Life.” “sums up my teaching completely.” It is about going as deep as you can while keeping balance in your life. [2]
“Rest” means resting as awareness and allowing all thoughts, emotions and sensations to be noticed, which shows that they are temporary. He found that this often “doesn’t go far enough” on its own, so “Inquire” adds direct investigation through the inquiries he developed. [2]
“Enjoy Life” is the balance. “What’s the purpose of a teaching or method if it does not free you up to experience a greater enjoyment, ease, creativity, and enthusiasm for life?” he asks. As we take ourselves less seriously, he says, we can enjoy life more. [2]
Notice a thought
When he wrote Natural Rest, Scott chose not to start from abstract statements. Instead he invited readers to look at their present experience. Rather than thinking about yourself, he asked, is it possible to notice a thought “in the way that you would notice like a fly buzzing by your face”? [3]
If you can see a thought, feeling or craving arise, he explained, then something is seeing it. That which sees, he said, is not a story and does not lack anything. [3]
The Velcro Effect
A central idea in his inquiry work is what he calls the “Velcro Effect”: emotions and sensations being stuck to thoughts. [2]
“When an emotion or sensation is stuck to a thought, the thought seems more true or real,” he explains. As those emotions and sensations are allowed to be, they are seen to come and go. “They unglue themselves from thoughts, making thoughts seem less true or real.” [2]
The Unfindable Inquiry, which he developed in 2008, was his tool for this. It became the basis of the Living Inquiries, alongside related practices such as the Boomerang Inquiry and the Panorama Inquiry, which look at how relationships reflect our stories back to us. [2]
What are you seeking?
Scott sees seeking itself as a pattern. “It could be Enlightenment it could be self-improvement,” he said; the content does not matter, it is the same movement. [3]
In workshops he would ask: “What are you seeking?” Then: how would you experience it if you found it? Is the story that you need to find it actually giving you the peace you want? Finally: “are you open?” to noticing that thought whenever it arises and recognising thought-free presence. [3]
The play goes on
Scott is clear that awakening is “not a self-improvement game.” [3] Yet he says everyday life carries on. Describing his work as a lawyer, he said: “you go on playing the play the play just goes on isn’t it beautiful.” [3]
For him, what changes is that the divisions are not “bought into in the same way”. Feelings still arise, he said, but they arise “within a space” and are not carried over into the next moment. [3]
He speaks of love as what remains, not possessive love but “an unconditional openness toward experience itself.” [3] [2]
Kiloby Inquiries
His teaching today centres on the Kiloby Inquiries, or K.I., founded by Scott and Dan McLintock. [1] The website describes somatic self-inquiry as “similar to a meditation where, rather than sitting passively, you actively engage with yourself by asking intentional questions.” The answers from your body and mind guide you through your thoughts, feelings and sensations. [6]
The focus is on noticing emotions such as anger, sadness and fear in the body, which the method sees as often held back. [6] Scott now says that seeking pure awareness alone can become a way of avoiding feelings, and his book Awake But Sick explores spiritual bypassing. [5]
He offers free online meetings, mentorship and training programmes. Details are on his website. [1]
Videos with Scott Kiloby
These videos come from his own channel and from interviews, checked one by one. Some are older and show his earlier teaching style, which he has since developed further.
Start here
Interviews
From his channel
Articles about Scott Kiloby
Scott Kiloby’s books
His books are available in print and ebook editions.
Find his books in your country: US · UK · Canada · Australia · India.
Meetings, mentorship and training
Scott offers a free online Nonduality & KI meeting, one-to-one mentorship, the Becoming Unbound programme, group training and in-person workshops, with a directory of certified K.I. mentors. [1] His YouTube channel has many free talks. Prices and dates are listed on his website.
What the Research Shows
Scott’s teaching is spiritual rather than scientific, but two ideas close to it, putting feelings into words and noticing where your attention goes, have been studied by researchers.
- Naming feelings. Simply putting a feeling into words reduced activity in the brain’s alarm centre. [7]
- Being present. People were happier in the moments when their attention was on what they were doing. [8]
Frequently asked questions
Who is Scott Kiloby?
An American non-duality teacher, international speaker and author of seven books on spiritual awakening.
What does Rest. Inquire. Enjoy Life. mean?
Rest as awareness, look directly at your thoughts and feelings through inquiry, and let that leave you freer to enjoy everyday life.
What is the Unfindable Inquiry?
A form of self-inquiry he developed in 2008 with the help of Greg Goode. It became the basis of the Living Inquiries.
What is the Velcro Effect?
His name for emotions and sensations being stuck to thoughts, which makes those thoughts seem more true or real.
What are the Kiloby Inquiries?
A somatic self-inquiry method he co-founded with Dan McLintock, which uses questions to explore thoughts, feelings and sensations in the body.
Who influenced him?
He names Greg Goode as one of his greatest teachers, and he read Adyashanti, Krishnamurti and Byron Katie.
Where should I start?
His Conscious TV interview gives a clear overview, and his YouTube channel has many free talks.
Sources
- Kiloby Inquiries: Scott Kiloby
- New Harbinger: Q&A with Scott Kiloby, author of The Unfindable Inquiry (2017)
- Conscious TV: Scott Kiloby, The End of the Spiritual Search (interview with Iain McNay, 2010)
- New Harbinger Publications: Scott Kiloby
- Kiloby Inquiries: Awake But Sick
- Kiloby Inquiries: About
- Lieberman et al., Putting Feelings Into Words, Psychological Science 2007
- Killingsworth and Gilbert, A Wandering Mind Is an Unhappy Mind, Science 2010
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